i had a 103.6 degrees fever from friday night thru this morning and let me inform everyone who has never had the flu- IT SUCKED. My legs felt like i ran about 2034028 miles...and i run A LOT so that SUCKED. My entire body couldnt decide if it was cold or on fire...so it decided to be both at the same time...and that SUCKED. And then on top of that...my fever made my head feel like it was gonna melt right off of me neck. I love my Lord, my God...and i think that was the first time i ever prayed to die bc i couldnt deal with the pain anymore... i know... i sound like a drama queen... was it that bad?? YES. But im sure that there is worse...and for that reason... i want to make sure i find a missions trip to go on this summer that deals with the sick...
Speaking of mission trips...ive been in search for one to go on for this summer. I'll hopefully be working in NYC by April so i wont be able to do a long one...but i am interest in doing one for about a week-10 days. I want to go outta the country and work with either children or the sick... If anyone has any information or knows a good organization pleaseeeeee feel free to let me know! Any help in this department will be greatly appreciated!
I feel like such a waste by sitting here in my 3 story house...driving my luxury car... wearing my over-priced clothing... eating my fattening foods...knowing that there are people all over the world who cant even enjoy one outta the 4 things i just listed. It breaks me heart to know i am so fully capable to help someone else...to go out and take part in doing God's work... and instead... im not. But i promise myself...and i promise to God...that i WILL. I wanna go where HE is leading me tho...not on my own terms...but instead on HIS terms. I want to go where HE sends me... bc i know He'll send me where HE knows i am needed... Im just so filled with the love of Jesus and excited to know that i can and WILL do something... that i dont know where to start!!! Im ready and waiting to pour this love out... i wished more people were excited to take part in doing just that...
Besides my death-wishing sickness and my serious hunger to do some evangelizing... every single day i fall more and more inlove with my matthew. Funny how after 2+ years with a person...you think you couldnt be more inlove with that person than you are at that present moment... it really throws me off when i spend another day with him. Babe--i know i yell at you a lot... and i complain about your annoying habits... but when its all said and done, i love you more than you know... more than i knew i could love someone else... My matthew loves me more than i deserved to be loved... but he does that...and more (if you could understand) Even though i think Valentines day is a complete joke... and that this year i was half dead in my bed... you still manage to warm my heart with goofy cards, chocolates and kisses...Now that my head isnt pounding anymore... im gonna go read a book. :]
What better then being inlove??
i think the answer is... to be loved.
<33>
p.s. ya know the show 'engaged and underage' on mtv? there was a couple on there who started this really neat organization. If you have some extra time on your hands, i highly recommend checking it out... google it-- The Love Alliance.
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